New Eyes

Earlier tonight, I was really upset. I just felt really horrible. Usually I would just wait it out, maybe listen to some loud-scream-ish music. Tonight (or rather, this morning) I did something different, for a reason I can’t say. I picked up my bible, and flipped to the index in the back.

I’m ashamed to say that I don’t read my bible that often. In fact, I rarely even glance at it unless I’m in church. This is not a fact I’m proud of. Anyway, this morning, I picked up my bible and looked in the back. It’s got a special index that has suggestions for verses you might want to read if you’re feeling a certain way (angry, disappointed, jealous, etc.). So I looked at some of the verses that they suggested if you were in need of comfort. So, I decided to share some of the verses I found most comforting.

Isaiah 42:16 I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.

Psalms 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.

John 8:12 When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

John 14:27 Peace. I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

 

After I got done reading, I put my bible on my side-table (so I would remember to pick it up again) I turned off my light and climbed in to bed. I grabbed my Zune and turned to the song Broken by Lifehouse, and started to get settled in for bed. For another reason I can’t really explain, I got out of bed again. A conversation I had with my mom a while ago came to my mind. She had told me that someone told her it’s an incredible experience if every now and then when you pray, you lay flat out on the floor. So, and I don’t think I ever really made a decision to do this tonight (or morning…) I did. I laid myself flat out in the middle of my bedroom floor, with the lights still off, and just prayed.

Again, I’m ashamed to say that I don’t really pray as much as I should either. I turn to God last minute, when He should be the first person I go to for guidance. As much as I love it, music will not solve all my problems. So, I sometimes get a little uncomfortable when I pray. I worry that I’m not doing it the right way, or that it’s not going to do any good. But tonight, I just talked to God. I just told him the way I was feeling, and asked for his guidance and his comfort. When I stood back up, I felt different. I really did.

And I may just be a teenager, but even now, I still have that incredible feeling. When I was praying, I heard this really loud noise all of a sudden. It was raining. Hard. If you know me, you probably know that I love the rain a lot. There’s something about it that makes me feel good. It’s like it’s just washing away all the bad stuff from the day. I couldn’t help myself, I got my sister and we went outside on our steps. I stuck my arm out and let the rain fall down on my arm. It was cold, sure, but it’s still beautiful. I stood out there and felt the rain kiss my arm and inhaled that fresh-summer-rain smell. It was honestly like I was seeing our front yard through new eyes. I felt refreshed. I feel comforted. I feel like everything will really be okay, and that we can get through this. We just have to have faith.

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2 Responses to “New Eyes”

  1. how lovely for me to read how you felt and how you handled your anger/grief/frustration. isn’t it so true, we forget to go right to our heavenly Dad first and talk to him about it? i struggle with that as well. or i’ll be so faithful to read my devotion each day but not take the time to just talk to God about my day, my praises and what i am concerned about. I stop when it’s going to get too personal, require more of myself……
    i think that is so cool that He sent you rain………how very very pleased He must have been to see you intentionally positioning yourself in prayer and in spite of your feeling awkward about it, you talked to Him. Wow, He really wanted you to know He heard you and He sent one of your very favoritethings – rain – to provide comfort – to just let you know (in a big way) He hears, He loves you, He cares, He knows, He understands.
    i continually praise and thank Him for such a gift as you for a daughter. you are one amazing young woman and i’m so glad we’re sisters in Christ.
    xoxoxo
    mom

  2. Rose,

    That brought me to tears. I am so thankful that the Lord is a comfort to you. I know it can be hard to run to Him rather than the easy things we can run to for temporary relief. But His comfort is lasting – proven by the fact that you STILL feel it. It lasts much longer than a song, longer than a lyric…it is everlasting. And remember, the Psalms are songs, so as a fellow lover of music, I find them particularly comforting because I too can always find solace in a song. So to find solace in songs written by God…how cool is that???

    Also remember that prayer is just talking to your Father who loves you. You wouldn’t need to be all formal to go talk to Mom or Dad if you were having a problem. You wouldn’t need to say certain words or sit a certain way. Well, it’s the same with God, except that He loves you and knows you EVEN MORE than your earthly mom and dad. So how much more can you go to Him however, whenever, with whatever you need. Talk to Him like a friend, because He is your very best friend.

    There is a sermon link on my blog from a couple days ago that I think you should really check out. It is on prayer and I think it would really bless you.

    I love you so much and will be praying for you – I praise God so so so so much for you Rose!!!!

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